UPS United Parcel Service, Delayed and Missing Shipments, Suvarnabhumi Bangkok Airport Customs

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Are you SURE you want to ship by
UPS in Thailand? Is it "SAFE"?

 

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Is it safe to ship to Thailand by UPS? No.

 

Thai-Thailand Customs has stolen even

my Amazon shipment of cotton buds

 

Yes, it's true. And enough is enough.

Because that represents 100% of all my

shipments VIA UPS to Thailand having been

effectively stolen. After nearly 10 years, we

are researching moving companies at this very

moment. That's enough of the insanity of Thais.

There are countless crazy countries in the world.

But none as crazy as Thailand.

The straw that broke the Camel's back was UPS.

 

The domain home of this page is:

http://www.monkeys
wearingpants.com/

 

The Home page for this particular UPS fiasco is:

http://www.monkeyswearingpants
.com/UPS-Thailand/UPS_Thailand
_cleared_for_public.html

 

The Amazon Complaint page for this particular BS is:

http://www.monkeys
wearingpants.com/

UPS-Thailand/UPS_
complaint-to-amazon2.html

 

The URL of THIS PARTICULAR synopsis page is:

http://www.monkeys
wearingpants.com/
UPS-Thailand

/UPS_complaint-to-
amazon2-image.html

 

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Is it safe to ship to Thailand by UPS? No.

Thai-Thailand Customs has stolen

EVEN my cotton buds.

What?! Say it ain't true! But it is true.

Here's what they've seized and stolen

(Not the camera of course)

(But maybe they saw this and thought

there was a camera inside. Typical Thais):

 

We are now losing one hundred percent

of all incoming orders through UPS.

If you live in Thailand, the Thais will do their

level, utmost best to steal you blind.

Here's how this particular scam works:

Thai Customs has a huge complex at the Suvarnabhumi

Airport at Bangkok, as does UPS and other carriers.

Thai Customs is as corrupt as corrupt can get. FACT.

Thai Customs "flags" incoming items through all the

carriers, but maybe especially UPS and DHL. Those

carriers are then responsible for getting those parcels

"cleared". They could do that easily, of course, in a matter

of minutes, by contacting the end-user in a

simple, clear and logical manner, and telling them

what documents they need to provide.

What "documents" might be needed to clear 12 cotton

buds you might ask? Of course, NONE, but this

is Thailand and this is Thai Customs and this is UPS,

never known, any of them, for their smarts.

 

The customer (you know, the owner of the

merchandise), then effortlessly complies through a

website and uploads whatever scans of documents are

required, and UPS clears the package and it is delivered

to, you know, the owner of the package. But UPS and the

other carriers won't do this. Instead they will MAYBE

contact the owner, or maybe not (it's 50-50, literally).

If not, then the item begins racking up outrageous

storage charges almost immediately. Within only a few

days, the storage charges will often far exceed

the value of the item.

Is this accidental?

No. Of course not.

But even if the carrier DOES contact the parcel owner,

the fun is just beginning. Go HERE to see an example of

the complete and utter UPS insanity that will then ensue.

Of course no mortal can navigate this nonsense.

Not even an attorney. We tried. We tried hard.

Is this accidental?

No. Of course not.

It is a "concerted regimen of obfuscation".

What happens then?

UPS marks the parcel as abandon.

Later, the carrier/Customs is then free to sell the

item (or, in Thailand, simply take it home), and the

proceeds, if any, are split with Corrupt officials in

Thai Customs, and almost certainly with UPS.

That's how this works.

Is that theft?

Is that stealing?

I call it theft.

I call it stealing.

But remember, this is not a Christian society.

In Buddhism, there is no "real" damage to one's

soul for stealing, or, really, anything else,

except some scuffs to the Karma, which are easily

and quickly repaired by cleaning some latrines

at the local monestary.

Or, you know, thinking hard about it.

So with regard to this little package of cotton

buds, why didn't we simply buy them in Thailand?

We did. Three times.

That is, we ORDERED them three times over the

course of about five weeks. Through a comedy of usual

errors, frauds and scams, none of those Thai orders

showed up. We became exasperated and ordered

from Amazon, CERTAIN in the knowledge that

at least this one retailer in all the world would

actually ship our order. And they did. As always.

They are not Thai.

But despite being told explicitly, pointedly,

loudly, animatedly, repeatedly; despite our begging that

Amazon never, ever, ever ship to us using UPS again,

Amazon shipped to us using UPS again.

Why didn't we want anything shipped to us via

UPS again? Because we are now losing exactly

one hundred percent of all orders shipped to us

to Thailand, using UPS.

Not 83%. Not 99%.

100%.

And by God, that's enough of that f**king bullshit.

Mexico isn't even this damned immoral & dishonest.

I've lived there too and it's sounding better.

Why do nearly none of the world's decent

countries allow Thais to come and stay there?

THIS IS WHY.

Countries the world over know from long and very

painful experience that if and when they allow

Thais into their countries, they will only act like this,

and they've all had enough of this crap also.

Is it genetic? I now believe it is. Thai DNA is faulty.

Others have had heaps and mountains of trouble losing

shipments through all the other carriers, like DHL,

FedEx, etc. We, however, have only lost shipments

through UPS. If you read the full account of

some recent debacles with UPS,

it will become clearer.

You might think that Customs would only target

items that looked valuable. That would be logical from the

criminal's point of view.

But these aren't even smart criminals.

There is no logic in Thailand. There is only

insanity, greed and theft, at the animal level.

These are Monkeys Wearing Pants.

You might think there

was some semblance of morality in Thailand.

But you'd be wrong.

In this case, we suspect that when this envelope of

cotton buds is finally sold, if they can sell it at all, it

will bring....possibly....as much as one dollar USD.

That will be split several ways. How much will UPS

employees get?

Our guess:

About 10 cents, to be later split again.

So the government and carriers of Thailand has

sold their souls,

their principles,

their morality,

their reputations,

the future of their Kingdom,

their very hearts, for a buck.

If you ask a Thai if that was a good bargain, if that

was worth it to them, far too many will say yes.

We're betting the old King is rolling in his

grave with regard to Thailand's corruption since

his unspeakably sorrowful passing.

I am willing to bet one million baht, right here

and now, that if this package of cotton buds had

been addressed to a Thai National citizen instead of a

"farang" (white expat), it would have breezed right

on through. In fact, I'm SO sure of that, that we are

setting up a series of experiments to ship in several

UPS parcels which LOOK valuable, but which really

only contain tracking devices. Let's see exactly

where all this stuff ends up. Enough is enough.

Working in US Federal law enforcemernt long ago,

this was sometimes our job. It's easy enough to do.

 

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The Tale of the 12 Camera Cotton Buds,

Seized by Thai Customs/UPS, Bangkok

on April 23, 2021.

COTTON BUDS for God's sake!

Think about that!

Cotton buds Seized by Thai Customs!

Could anything possibly be any sleazier than that.

This is what Thailand has come to in 2021.

\We have appealed to UPS/Singapore countless

times to get to the bottom of this. They've shown

they are clueless and inneffective as the Thais.

 

Even Prayuth, from whom we expected great

things, has been powerless to stop this madness;

in fact it has increased exponentially under

his rule. We are saddened and amazed.

Honestly, I don't have the words to describe

a government with a Customs department

SO STUPID it would seize a pack of

cotton buds. I truly don't have words for

backwardness to that degree.

 

Oliver Stone Wrote:

"Hell is the Impossibility of Reason"

Substitute "logic" for "reason" if you wish.

 

If this is true, then Thailand is Hell.

I've always known Thais were corrupt.

From the day the Thai police stole my iPhone

and then sold it back to me because they

couldn't crack the password, I knew they were

corrupt. But I never dreamed they were so

corrupt as to go after a little package of

cotton buds. That takes the cake.

Call Guinness, would ya please?

CC to Prayuth.

CC to UPS/Singapore, for all the good it will do.

 

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UPDATE:

We eventually filed a non-delivery claim with Amazon as follows. This is what we do in every case when Thailand steals our merchandise (if it was ordered through Amazon).

This results in a refund within a few days in every single instance.

You'd think Amazon would get tired of losing money and find another carrier.

But they won't.

Stupid is as stupid does.

We also included a link to these pages within our refund request.

We had long before blocked all incoming messaging from the UPS.COM domain.

We simply refused to play their game any longer.

Within 48 hours of filing for an Amazon refund for the millionth time, what showed up on our doorstep, with NO documents or bogus fees (bribes) required?

This order.

Does this mean that UPS is redeemed?

Hardly.

It means that UPS got tired of being embarrassed and did what they HAD to do, not what they WANTED to do.

Would we ever trust UPS on ANY delivery, ANYWHERE in the world, EVER AGAIN?

One would have to be mentally retarded to try UPS ever, anytime, anywhere.

There's something wrong with those people, in Thailand, in the USA, in Singapore -- it's systemic. Maybe they're all drinking the same poisoned ground water.

UPS is an absurd company. Do the research for yourself.

It's a fluke we received this item. Nothing else came through. The pool dye is probably in some UPS exec's pool in Bangkok.

We'll never, ever see that order. never.

Think about this: The fact that UPS finally sent this through without ANY documentation or emails or calls (because we blocked any and all incoming communication from UPS) or multiple dangerous trips across Thailand to sit through bizarre, annoying and wholly unnecessary office procedures in various rural Customs warehouses demonstrates that they, UPS, COULD HAVE DONE THIS RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. They could have done this all along! They COULD HAVE delivered it the very first day that it was scheduled for delivery. They COULD HAVE! It was within their power to do it! But they CHOSE to try to jerk us around. Remember that Customs only flags the items. It is then up to UPS to deliver them or not. Clearly, obviously, demonstrably, it was within the power of UPS to have simply delivered this in the first place, on time, with absolutely zero interaction from us. But it was UPS that CHOSE not to do that, but instead to engage in yet another regimen of harassment, lies, obfuscation and time-wasting, harassing bullshit. THAT is the bottom line here. UPS would have been better off, reputation-wise, to have never delivered it, leaving the world to believe that for some bizarre reason they couldn't deliver it. But they did deliver it, which means they ALWAYS COULD HAVE delivered it, and it was THEIR CHOICE to screw this up. Again. And they'll try to screw it up next time too, assuming there would ever be a next time with us. There won't be a next time with us. But there will be literally millions of next times with expats and Thai citizens all across the Kingdom. There are 68 million people here, and as the Thai economy grows, IF it ever grows (looking doubtful now, what with the way the Thai government has shown sheer, utter, shocking incompetence in the handling of Covid (as of May 2021 Thailand hasn't STARTED a vaccine program except to a handful of high government dignitaries and they don't know when they will start a vaccine program), then as Thais begin to be able to afford and demand better quality goods from the west than they get from the silly, shoddy, incompetent likes of CHINA, they can order the stuff alright, but God forbid Customs and UPS should ever let them actually receive it. And that is a gargantuan disservice to the Thai people who PAY THE WAGES of the fools in Thai Customs and at UPS. It's a sin of biblical proportions.

Consider one more thing: When this envelope -- and that's all it was, a padded envelope arrived at my door a week late (I'd paid HUGELY for express shipping from the US), it had a big CUSTOMS INSPECTION sticker across one end that had been opened and sort of resealed with this Customs tape. Luckily the contents hadn't fallen out. Think about this for a moment: Thai Customs actually opened this to verify that it contained what Amazon said it contained, namely, cotton buds. Think about that hard. This means that Thai Customs is so fucking stupid that they thought, perhaps, just perhaps, Amazon, the biggest and by far the most reputable online retailer on earth, might be advertising cotton buds, but in reality, actually selling crack cocaine. Or explosives. Or whatever the fuck the fucking Goddamned imbecilic morons at Thai Customs dreampt of in their demented Halcyon fever-dreams. But how much cocaine could have been in there? A gram? Because the weight was next to nothing. They clearly have no clue what Amazon is. They live in such a pathetic little bubble in SE Asia that even though it's their fucking job to know what places like Amazon are and what they do, they don't. Just like it's their fucking job to be somewhat fluent in the reading, writing and speaking of at least two or three of the world's most common languages, they can't.

That these Monkeys Wearing Pants would go to the trouble (and expense, which the Thai people reimburse them for), of opening and inspecting a little envelope of cotton buds, it beyond the pale. UPS didn't do this -- Thai Customs did this. Maybe they were merely checking to make SURE they couldn't sell these for more than 30 baht. After all, 50 baht might have pushed them over the top and they would have kept the stuff. Split 50 ways among all the office and warehouse goons, both Customs and UPS, let's see -- the net profit to them each would have been about one baht. Still eminently worth it to sell out the reputation of your country for one baht though, eh...?

Of course it is. Huge corporations are dropping Thailand like a hot potato as fast as they can bail out, and the Thai people, in many cases, are suffering greatly for the loss of batches of real jobs at the rate of 40,000 or 120,000 or even 10,000 paychecks per bailout.. But hey, why not convince a few more hundreds of corporations to bail on Thailand. After all, WE MADE ONE BAHT! Fuck our fellow citizens! Fuck 'em all! We don't care! WE MADE ONE BAHT!!!

And yet another irony of this entire fiasco is that once we realized Thai Customs and UPS/Thailand were off and running on this newest cotton bud scam, we ordered another set from another vendor who shipped it to Thailand using a different carrier and it arrived straight to our door in four days, BEFORE the original package had been shipped here from the same country (US) via UPS. Now we have enough cotton buds to clean every camera in our province.

If we were to order, say, a ream of typewriter paper from Amazon tomorrow, would we receive it here in Thailand?

Of course not.

Amazon would ship via UPS.

Customs and UPS would get together and stop it at the airport.

We'd receive yet another ludicrous email, in pathetic English, from UPS, demanding all manner of absurd and unattainable forms, documents and scans.

We'd send them all twenty times.

UPS would say they never received a single one.

We'd drive all over Thailand at the demand of UPS, to be put through various nonsensical routines in various nonsensical UPS and Customs offices.

And then UPS would forge something, changing the name from the original manifest to something of their choosing, and tell us to start over using THAT name.

And we'd get an attorney, just like before.

And that attorney would jump through all the same hoops.

And no ream of typewriter paper would ever be delivered.

Homey don do dat no mo'.

The End.

.

 

 

To Amazon:

We have not received this item because we can't get it through Thai Customs via UPS. Imagine, they even seize cotton buds. We've asked, and begged, and pleaded and demanded that Amazon stop shipping to Thailand via UPS because we are now losing 100% of all UPS parcels here. Not 98%. I mean 100%. We've even hired attorneys to get parcels through UPS. But the attorneys failed too. We've posted a website about this particular parcel, as we have with all previous parcels. Clearly, Amazon will not stop shipping here via UPS, so we can never buy from Amazon again. Pretty sad. Here's the link to the latest website about this order. Why, oh why, oh why won't Amazon stop using UPS here? It's nothing but a band of outright ____________:

http://www.monkeyswearingpants
.com/UPS-Thailand/UPS_complaint
-to-amazon2.html

 

 

UPDATE:

Upon closer examination we discover, lo and behold, this wasn't held nor inspected by Thai Customs AT ALL!

This was ALL done by UPS/Thailand.

This shitty little harassment stunt was thought up inside the tiny brains of those at UPS.

Look at the inspection sticker below.

Dirty rotten skunks.